In this new world

For the first time since nearly the beginning of time – this new world, that is – I slept until the alarm. Like my old life, I negotiated with God and hit the snooze. What a simple gesture – hitting the snooze – so normal and routine in the other world, so rare and precious in this one. Deep gratitude welled in my warm, heavy body; my body remembered the feel of hitting the snooze even more than my mind remembered, that when the alarm rang five minutes later, I begrudgingly sat up and turned it off. The day is beginning, like it or not. So familiar. Just like in this new world, the day is beginning, like it or not. More chaos and questions, like it or not. More hidden opportunities to love, like it or not. It seems like nothing is my choice in this new world, but that’s not true – I can choose to see the glorious daffodils as well as the headlines, consciously breathe in the strangely clean air. I can choose to be conscious of beauty as well as chaos, to recognize that chaos does not have a monopoly. It thinks it does; sometimes I think it does, too. But then I choose to focus, for a deep moment, upon the striking joy of the cardinal’s call, the slow breath in my lungs, of hitting the snooze.

© Meisaan Chan

Posted in addiction, anxiety, contemplation, Food addiction, meditation, PTSD, Recovery and healing, Scripture riff, Spiritual poetry, Spiritual search, Spiritual strengthening exercises, writing | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

To feel human

This morning, after my prayer time,
I put on a necklace.
I was surprised at how good it felt
so I selected a bracelet and put that on, too.
Then a couple rings.
Nothing extravagant, just something normal
in an age where nothing is
and in the midst of nobody seeing me
except my reflection in the mirror
with my necklace, bracelet, and rings
to feel human is a gift

© Meisaan Chan

Posted in addiction, anxiety, contemplation, Food addiction, meditation, Poetry, PTSD, Recovery and healing, Spiritual poetry, Spiritual search, writing | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Coronavirus loneliness and spiritual response

When you despair in loneliness, go deeper
for there is never loneliness in union

© Meisaan Chan

Posted in addiction, anxiety, contemplation, Food addiction, Haiku/haiku-esque poetry, meditation, Poetry, PTSD, Recovery and healing, Scripture riff, Spiritual poetry, Spiritual search, writing | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

What you channel

You can channel peace and strength
You can channel fear
Both are within you

© Meisaan Chan

Posted in addiction, anxiety, contemplation, Food addiction, Haiku/haiku-esque poetry, meditation, Poetry, PTSD, Recovery and healing, Scripture riff, Spiritual search, writing | Leave a comment

Changing your eyes

The choice to be grateful
is the choice to change your eyes

© Meisaan Chan

Posted in addiction, anxiety, contemplation, Food addiction, Haiku/haiku-esque poetry, Poetry, PTSD, Recovery and healing, Scripture riff, Spiritual poetry, Spiritual search, writing | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Brokenness and wholeness

Brokenness is the same as wholeness flipped over:
Beginners love wholeness
Advanced love also brokenness
loving the whole

© Meisaan Chan

Posted in addiction, anxiety, contemplation, Earth poetry, Food addiction, Haiku/haiku-esque poetry, meditation, Poetry, PTSD, Recovery and healing, Scripture riff, Spiritual poetry, Spiritual search, Uncategorized, writing | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Parable of the rescuer

There once were four women in deep despair, as they had lost everything they loved from a menacing world. The first woman said, “All is lost. Nothing is left. There is nowhere to go from here.” And she perished. The second woman said, “All is lost. Nothing is left.” Then she turned to the Lord, “Save me!” she cried. So the Lord saved her, but after she was rescued, the woman became embarrassed at her need. She decided that she would not be so needy again, and when the world menaced her once more, she decided not to cry upon the Lord. And she perished. The third woman said, “All is lost. Nothing is left.” Then she turned to the Lord, “Save me!” she cried. So the Lord saved her, but after she was rescued, the woman grew proud and decided that she did not need the Lord any longer. When the world menaced her once more, she decided she was strong enough by herself to face the menace and did not cry upon the Lord. And she perished. The fourth woman said, “All is lost. Nothing is left.” She turned to the Lord, “Save me!” she cried. The Lord saved her, but the moment the Lord saved her, more things welled up and threatened her existence. She cried to the Lord, “Save me again!” And the Lord saved her again. But even more things welled up and threatened her existence, and yet again she cried to the Lord, “Save me yet again!” And the Lord saved her yet again. The more the world menaced and threatened her existence, the more she cried out to the Lord, and the more the Lord rescued her over and over and over in endless rescue. And the woman was safe.

© Meisaan Chan

Posted in addiction, anxiety, Food addiction, Parable, PTSD, Recovery and healing, Scripture riff, Spiritual poetry, Spiritual search, Uncategorized, writing | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment